Why New Years Resolutions Are Kind Of Lame
by Erin Honor
Well… It’s been a while
Two posts and then disappearing for a couple of weeks. Probably not the best way to kick off this blog, but it is what it is I guess. I had final projects and then finals (I had my last final the day before Christmas Eve), then there was Christmas and all the stress and anxiety and craziness that comes with that.
The holidays are such a strange time. I mean, for some people the holidays are a time of complete and utter bliss. They are a time where everyone is suddenly happy and kinder and they entire world just falls under a veil of merriment. For others, the holidays are the complete opposite. They are a time where anxiety and despair is heightened. Is it the best time of the year? Or the worst? It’s strange.
Regardless of my own personal reaction to the holiday season, with today being New Year’s Day, the holiday season has officially come to a close. 2014 has come to a close. That’s it. It’s done.
I always find it interesting how differently each and every person enters the new year.
Some slowly crawl into the new year. They are not quite ready to let go of the past year, of all the great times. They want to hold on to it as long as they can.
“2014 was the best year of my life.” “I’ll miss you 2014.” “Here’s to making 2015 even more amazing than 2015!”
On the opposite side of the spectrum, some enter the new years at a sprint. They can’t wait to get away from the year prior.
“Well…. 2014 was awful.” “It’s finally over!”
There is, however, one very common response to the new year, regardless of how one feels about the year prior.
“2015… Please be good to me.”
Call me a Debby Downer, but to me, this all-too-common asking of the new year to treat a person well is one of those Facebook statuses/Twitter updates/Tumblr post is the last thing that I want to see when entering the New Year.
Before you write me off as some grumpy people-hater who never leaves the house and doesn’t want anyone to be happy… Just hear me out for a second.
What bothers me about asking the New Year to be good to you is this silly idea that things will suddenly get better just because the the earth has made 365 more revolutions around the sun. That’s not really how it works.
Listen, I have done if before. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014. They all kind of sucked for me. I have been in a very bad place for a very long time, and I have spent many a New Years Eve imploring the universe to make the next year better. And you know what happened?
They have gotten worse.
The thing about life and the universe is that nothing comes for free. You can’t just sit back and throw your hands up and expect for everything to eventually all work out in your favor. Happiness and fulfillment take work. A lot of it. And if you want to have a rich and full life, you need to be willing to struggle and suffer and to put the time and effort in towards achieving that.
I have been the first to admit that I tend to slack on the whole putting in the work to be happy thing. Things have been very bad for a very long time and I have just kind of gotten to a point that I almost find comfort in my misery. It’s funny how that works. When a person is clinically depressed, or have and eating disorder, or an anxiety disorder… They definitely don’t want to continue to live in the state that they do. Yet, at the same time, they kind of do. In some sick and twisted way, mental disorders and depression and the like are actually weird safeguards, albeit self-destructive ones, that the brain puts up. They become a part of the sufferer, and even though the person with the disorder is not their illness… They begin to believe that they are.
Change is scary… It’s uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. I would much rather (or so the sick part of my brain believes O would) live in my little bubble of self-loathing and anxiety than let that part of me go and go out into that big scary world.
To fix this, I need to constantly work on myself. I need to go to therapy and practice acts of self love on the daily. I need to continue to take steps, no matter how small, to push the limits on my comfort zones and put myself in positions where to say I am uncomfortable would be an understatement.
Basically, things aren’t just going to get better in 2015 if I just sit here and ask for things to get better… I need to put in the work.
And this brings me to those resolutions that we all make each and every year.
I will lose weight.
I will eat healthier.
I will get that promotion.
I will get better grades.
Wow, those all sounds great! …But how many people actually stick to these goals?
Don’t get me wrong, I think that goal-setting is great, and I have a few goals for 2015 myself (one of them being to put better and more consistent content up on this blog).
That being said, I do have a couple of huge problems with the infamous “New Year’s Resolution.”
My first problem with New Year’s Resolutions is that, at least in my opinion, so many people set goals without any real intention of fulfilling with these goals. Would I love to lose 20 pounds this year? Absolutely. Will I do so? Probably not.
I don’t believe that is a conscious thing. I don’t think people set goals with the intention of not fulfilling them. I just feel that subconsciously, people’s hearts are often not 100% in their goals. Therefore, they are just setting themselves up for failure.
My other problem with New Year’s Resolutions is the simple concept that goals can be set just because it is the New Year. Why do you need to wait for the year to change to begin to change your life?
Now, I know that not everyone looks at the new year as the end-all-be-all for resolutions. But there are many people that do view it this way. So many people slip up on their goals half way through the year and shrug it off with the thought that next year will be better? Why? Why is January 1st so different from every other day of the year? What about February 18th? You can’t start on your resolution then? Or March 24th (my birthday fyi)? What makes this day so unbelievably significant?
What I’m saying is that each and every second is a new second and every day is a new day. It will never be 1/1/2015 at 7:56pm again. Heck, it’s not even that time anymore as I am typing this. You are reborn at each and every second. Ever second is a new opportunity to change your ways. A new opportunity to change your life.
Don’t wait to start tomorrow or nest week or next year. Start now. I promise that you won’t regret it.
Now that I have totally bashed New Year’s Resolutions and all that they stand for… You can probably expect a post on my goals for this year within the next few days. What can I say? I am a walking contradiction.
I really do hope that all of you out there had a wonderful New Year’s and that 2015 will, in fact, be good to you. Just remember that to get good out anything, you need to put in good. I know you can do it.
Happy New Year.